Listen, I don't mean to offend anyone here. However, the questionable decision to hold the World Cup in the middle of nowhere deserves some discussion. As I understand it the expected game time temperatures for Qatar during the World Cup will be 130 degrees. That's right. 130 degrees.
How are humans supposed to survive in that kind of environment? Can our cruisers repel firepower of that magnitude? Is it indeed a trap? Is this a conspiracy to have an African team finally succeed in World Cup play? How many overweight fans perish in this inhospitable environment?
I cannot imagine a bigger competitive disadvantage for European teams (I'm looking at you England) than playing the games on Satan's left asscheek. Those poor limeys will be melting before half. I suppose coaches can attempt to counteract this problem by having their team train (see, aren't I informative? I know soccor lingo) in oppressive heat in the time leading up to the game. But how does one simulate 130 degree heat? Is is possible to fit a soccor field within a microwave oven? Do you get portable heaters?
In any event, the end result of this type of thinking, first Russia then Qatar, is the outlandish concept of holding the tournament in a bottom less pit. Much like the famous Simpson's episode where Ozzie Smith falls down a bottomless pit, this scenario is not unrealistic. It would truly test the fortitude of international footballers to find out that they can only compete for the sport's greatest prize by willingly subjecting themselves to an eternity falling through blackness. At least they wouldn't need to air condition the stadiums.
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