Today is the 35 anniversary of the sinking of the Edmund Fitzgerald. As many of you know the sinking of the Fitz was immortalized in the excellent Gordon Lightfoot song (definitely in the top 5 of songs about death). The tragic events of 35 years ago lead us to the other ongoing tragedy of our times...the Chicago Bears Offensive Line.
What's so horrible about this group you ask? Let's start with a little refresher course on how to properly build a football team. (Wade Phillips you should be taking notes). Everything in football is easier when gigantically muscled men are not beating 10 years out of your life. The word "everything" includes the following: (1) passing; (2) running; (3) breathing; (4) cognitive function; and (5) tackling. I can gain five yard a carry if I am not touched until four yards off the ball. Anyone can find an open receiver if the defense has to cover people for 7-10 seconds.
What does this conclusion lead us to? That any football team must be built from the front lines, specifically the defensive and offensive line. In terms of the offense that means keeping your quarterback from having his dome caved in like a Chillean mine or allowing your running back to spot small patches of green, called holes, when he takes a hand off. The Bears, both through design and poor player personnel decisions, fail utterly in this regard. Reportedly Jay Cutler has applied for political assylum in several former Eastern Block countries. Mike Martz refuses to even attempt to run the ball because he's declared such plays "futile" and "beneath his genius." As a result his 3000 page play book has been reduced to 2996 pages and a short half page addendum about the discredited "theory" of the run play.
How did we get here? The crappy play of Chicago's offensive line can be traced back to three distinct problems: (1) drafting a disabled Chris Williams so he could "injure" himself in the first contact drill of training camp; (2) trading two number 1 picks for Cutler instead of drafting offensive line; and (3) failing to use late draft picks to build potential line depth while using the same picks to draft 8 safeties that don't make a difference. To be fair I loved the Cutler move. I just figured we'd avoid problem number 3. Instead Jerry Angelo signed the likes of Orlando Pace, Frank Omileye, Kevin Schaeffer, and John St. Clair. Just because no one else wanted them didn't mean they couldn't play, right? Wrong. Now we're here. Living a nightmare and taking years off the lives of Cutler and Forte.
The only hope is that the defense can play so masterfully that they will drag Chicago to the playoffs. This is still theoretically possible given Brian Urlacher has been released from the government's witness protection program and allowed to play professional football again. We'd all like to thank Mr. Urlacher for testifying against the space alien agents in our midst.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Monday, November 1, 2010
Randy Moss Conspiracy
First, welcome everyone to our blog. This is the maiden voyage of something that we hope will be a great source of entertainment for readers. Thanks for your support.
The first topic up for discussion...The Patriots conspiracy to defraud hapless NFL teams of their draft picks. As you might be aware the Patriots own two first round, two second round, two third round and countless other draft picks in this April's draft (or as I call it Christmas in April). Now they've got the Vikings third round pick for 4 games of Randy Moss mailing it in. No one can tell me this is not the result of a Bill Belichik conspiracy to fleece the Vikings and teach Moss a lesson.
Did anyone else see that press conference where Moss threw himself on the Alter of the Patriots Way? You know what that is? That's Moss begging to be let back into the finely run ship that is New England. It took 4 weeks with serial killer Brad Childress for Moss to realize how good he had it catching passes from Brady and benefitting from some of the best coaching in the league.
Now Moss is a free agent, after he clears waivers, and can play for anyone he wants. For those of you thinking your team is going to claim Moss, you should stop deluding yourself. Moss will put out the word concerning which team he will play for (New England) and everyone else will be scared off by the threat of the ultimate poison pill wrecking their locker room. You can also count out any of the bad teams making a claim for a half season rental. Those teams would have spent money on good players already if they were going to do it.
This leaves Moss free to return to Belichik, humbled and believing he never had it so good. The only other possibility is that Rex Ryan picks him up just to prevent Belichik from pulling it off. And what did Belichik have to give up for this? He got Minnesota's 3rd round Pick and lost Moss for 3 games.
The really ingenius part of all this is the Belichik knew that Moss would fail or worsen the situation in Minnesota. He knew that the trade would finish toppling the one team in the NFC that has enough talent to challenge him in the Super Bowl. Now all he needs to do is win the AFC and the Super Bowl will be a victory lap.
The first topic up for discussion...The Patriots conspiracy to defraud hapless NFL teams of their draft picks. As you might be aware the Patriots own two first round, two second round, two third round and countless other draft picks in this April's draft (or as I call it Christmas in April). Now they've got the Vikings third round pick for 4 games of Randy Moss mailing it in. No one can tell me this is not the result of a Bill Belichik conspiracy to fleece the Vikings and teach Moss a lesson.
Did anyone else see that press conference where Moss threw himself on the Alter of the Patriots Way? You know what that is? That's Moss begging to be let back into the finely run ship that is New England. It took 4 weeks with serial killer Brad Childress for Moss to realize how good he had it catching passes from Brady and benefitting from some of the best coaching in the league.
Now Moss is a free agent, after he clears waivers, and can play for anyone he wants. For those of you thinking your team is going to claim Moss, you should stop deluding yourself. Moss will put out the word concerning which team he will play for (New England) and everyone else will be scared off by the threat of the ultimate poison pill wrecking their locker room. You can also count out any of the bad teams making a claim for a half season rental. Those teams would have spent money on good players already if they were going to do it.
This leaves Moss free to return to Belichik, humbled and believing he never had it so good. The only other possibility is that Rex Ryan picks him up just to prevent Belichik from pulling it off. And what did Belichik have to give up for this? He got Minnesota's 3rd round Pick and lost Moss for 3 games.
The really ingenius part of all this is the Belichik knew that Moss would fail or worsen the situation in Minnesota. He knew that the trade would finish toppling the one team in the NFC that has enough talent to challenge him in the Super Bowl. Now all he needs to do is win the AFC and the Super Bowl will be a victory lap.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)