Today is the 35 anniversary of the sinking of the Edmund Fitzgerald. As many of you know the sinking of the Fitz was immortalized in the excellent Gordon Lightfoot song (definitely in the top 5 of songs about death). The tragic events of 35 years ago lead us to the other ongoing tragedy of our times...the Chicago Bears Offensive Line.
What's so horrible about this group you ask? Let's start with a little refresher course on how to properly build a football team. (Wade Phillips you should be taking notes). Everything in football is easier when gigantically muscled men are not beating 10 years out of your life. The word "everything" includes the following: (1) passing; (2) running; (3) breathing; (4) cognitive function; and (5) tackling. I can gain five yard a carry if I am not touched until four yards off the ball. Anyone can find an open receiver if the defense has to cover people for 7-10 seconds.
What does this conclusion lead us to? That any football team must be built from the front lines, specifically the defensive and offensive line. In terms of the offense that means keeping your quarterback from having his dome caved in like a Chillean mine or allowing your running back to spot small patches of green, called holes, when he takes a hand off. The Bears, both through design and poor player personnel decisions, fail utterly in this regard. Reportedly Jay Cutler has applied for political assylum in several former Eastern Block countries. Mike Martz refuses to even attempt to run the ball because he's declared such plays "futile" and "beneath his genius." As a result his 3000 page play book has been reduced to 2996 pages and a short half page addendum about the discredited "theory" of the run play.
How did we get here? The crappy play of Chicago's offensive line can be traced back to three distinct problems: (1) drafting a disabled Chris Williams so he could "injure" himself in the first contact drill of training camp; (2) trading two number 1 picks for Cutler instead of drafting offensive line; and (3) failing to use late draft picks to build potential line depth while using the same picks to draft 8 safeties that don't make a difference. To be fair I loved the Cutler move. I just figured we'd avoid problem number 3. Instead Jerry Angelo signed the likes of Orlando Pace, Frank Omileye, Kevin Schaeffer, and John St. Clair. Just because no one else wanted them didn't mean they couldn't play, right? Wrong. Now we're here. Living a nightmare and taking years off the lives of Cutler and Forte.
The only hope is that the defense can play so masterfully that they will drag Chicago to the playoffs. This is still theoretically possible given Brian Urlacher has been released from the government's witness protection program and allowed to play professional football again. We'd all like to thank Mr. Urlacher for testifying against the space alien agents in our midst.
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