Pick 4 - Bungles

After spending years trying to fill the void of Boomer Esiason (and think how sad it was that they were pining for the days of Boomer) they Bengals finally hit the jackpot, the prototype NFL quarterback, mechanically sound, the man who if you were going to sculpt a statue of a quarterback would be the man you had pose for it (easier now that he is a statue after they destroyed his leg), was the consensus number 1 pick by all the experts.  Cinci's inept scouting department could just sit back and do what the world told them, and despite our expectations they actually took him.

For years Palmer has probably regretted that, if only he could have come down with the flu, or been photographed with communist terrorist strippers (or started a dog fighting cockfighting Mike Tyson fighting ring) and fell because of character concerns he could have played for a real team and had the career he deserved.

Now he's had enough and wants to play for a real team (I hear Arizona is nice this time of year), and it's the time for the Bengals to show it wasn't a fluke when they got Palmer and they can in fact draft a reasonable quarterback.  Here are their choices

Blaine Gabbert:                I've never seen him, know nothing about him other than people love him

Cam Newton: Would probably steal Marv Lewis' laptop and write "Cam's" in glitter on it, also not the most accurate, has no prostyle experience, afraid to compete (left Fla. because he didn't want to sit a year instead played Juco against scrubs for a year).  Basically a more athletic Jamarcus Russell (without the arm strength).  No Thanks

Jake Locker:  A four year starter who still needs lots of learning, is it his coach from his first 2 years fault?  Don't know, but he should have ironed out the wrinkles by now, needs some time (2 years?) to get ready.  Bengals won't wait.

Ryan Mallet: Great arm, his feet will determine his future, if he can get his footwork down could be another great big quarterback, if not, he could take up a lot of room on the bus.

Christian Ponder: Just mediocre enough that he matches the Bengals draft strategy?  He'll be okay, but not here.

So Blaine Gabbert it is, the experts had it right with Palmer, and god knows the Bengals don't know what to do, so go with Gabbert, throw him to the wolves, and see if he brings home wolf pelts.